How to Come Out of a Shut Down States

Episode 49: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout

What do you do when you know you’re in a shutdown state, but nothing seems to help? In this episode, Amanda responds to a listener’s real-life experience with trying to come out of dorsal vagal shutdown—only to spiral deeper. You’ll learn why gentle, titrated support is often more effective than forceful mobilization, and walk away with specific practices to meet your system where it is.

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What We Cover in This Episode

• The biology of shutdown and why it’s not always depression
• What goes wrong when you try to “force” regulation too fast
• How to recognize the difference between disconnection and rest
• The role of titration in somatic healing
• Seven practical self-compassion practices to support gentle re-regulation

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Understanding the Shutdown State

Amanda opens by explaining the shutdown state through the lens of Polyvagal Theory. In response to overwhelming or inescapable stressors, the body may drop into dorsal vagal dominance—a biological freeze response akin to “playing dead.”

This isn’t weakness or failure. It’s survival.

Shutdown shows up as exhaustion, disconnection, numbness, and depressive symptoms. It often follows prolonged periods of high activation, like anxiety, and serves to conserve energy and protect the system from further overwhelm.

Why Regulation Tools Sometimes Backfire

While well-meaning, attempts to “fix” shutdown with activating tools (like breathwork or movement) can overwhelm the system even more, causing it to double down on immobilization.

Amanda shares a story from her Rise membership: A member used tools like self-hugging and swaying to come out of shutdown. But as soon as their mind came online, spiraling thoughts kicked in and sent them deeper into dysregulation.

The takeaway? Sometimes even helpful tools can be “too much, too soon.”

Titration: The Gentle Path Out

In somatic healing, titration means taking small, digestible steps. When your system is shut down, your first goal isn’t to climb the ladder to the green zone—it’s to offer support right where you are.

Amanda reframes regulation as nurturing rather than fixing. When we focus on soothing and supporting the state we’re in, we create enough safety for the system to move naturally toward regulation.

Gentle Practices to Support Shutdown

Here are seven simple, low-pressure practices Amanda recommends for gently tending to a system in shutdown:

1. Mindful Self-Talk: Place a hand on your heart or belly and affirm: “I’m here. I’m safe. This is okay.”
   
2. Warm Bath or Shower: Lean into the body’s need for rest with sensory comfort.
   
3. Weighted Blanket: Simulates safe physical touch and supports grounding.
   
4. Noise-Canceling Headphones & Nature Sounds: Reduce environmental overwhelm and introduce calming inputs.
   
5. Acknowledge the Shutdown: Try validating phrases like “My nervous system is doing what it thinks it needs to do to keep me safe.”
   
6. Self-Compassion Affirmations: Say aloud or write down affirmations like “I’m allowed to rest.”
   
7. Letter to/from Your Shutdown State: Journal to connect with and understand what this part of you needs.
   

Each of these tools is about creating the felt sense of safety—not mobilizing, not fixing, but gently being with.

For Support People: What to Say Instead

If you’re supporting someone in shutdown, Amanda offers alternatives to trying to “cheer them up.” Try:

• “I don’t need to fix this. I’m just here.”
• “You’ve been through a lot. It makes sense that you’re overwhelmed.”
• “I don’t exactly understand, but I’m here with you.”

This compassionate presence can often do more than advice or action.

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Three Tangible Takeaways

1. Start with permission. Give yourself or your loved one permission to be in shutdown without trying to fix it right away.
   
2. Nurture instead of fix. Support your system with gentle practices that meet you where you are.
   
3. Experiment with one practice. Choose from the seven gentle practices shared and notice how your system responds.

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Looking for more personalized support?

• Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
• Join me inside the  Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
• Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
• Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
• Download free resources here

*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.