The 3 Goals of Stress Management (And Why They Matter for Nervous System Health)

anxiety, Regulate & Rewire Podcast

Episode 56: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout

Stress is one of the most talked-about issues in wellness and mental health—and one of the least understood. This episode breaks it down with clarity and compassion. Amanda shares personal stories, physiology insights, and a practical framework for how to approach stress in a way that’s realistic, evidence-based, and actually helpful. Whether you’re burned out or just stress-curious, this conversation will meet you where you are.

Resources referenced in this episode:

What We Cover in This Episode

  • The difference between healthy and harmful stress
  • What chronic stress does to the nervous system
  • The three goals of sustainable stress management
  • How to improve vagal tone for better stress recovery
  • A practical framework for assessing and editing your stress load

Understanding the Physiology of Stress

Stress isn’t inherently bad. In fact, it’s a biological necessity. Your sympathetic nervous system, responsible for fight-or-flight responses, gets activated to help you meet demands and threats. Once the stressor passes, your parasympathetic system (driven by the vagus nerve) should kick in to help you reset.

But when that reset doesn’t happen? That’s when stress becomes chronic—and harmful.

Amanda shares her own experience of living in a cycle of productivity-based self-worth, which kept her in a near-constant stress state for years. Chronic stress, she explains, is rarely just a mindset issue. It’s a physiological imbalance. And it often reflects a life built on unsustainable beliefs, behaviors, and external demands.

The Stress Load Analogy: Deadlifts & Daily Life

Amanda uses a powerful metaphor to illustrate the mismatch between life demands and stress capacity: the deadlift. Just like you wouldn’t try to lift a 300 lb barbell without training, your nervous system can’t handle 300 lbs of stress without support. Chronic stress isn’t a personal failure—it’s often the result of carrying more than you were trained or resourced to manage.

This is where stress management work begins: auditing your stress bucket. What are you carrying that you don’t need to be? What parts of your stress are in your control? Which ones aren’t?

The 3 Core Goals of Stress Management

Amanda introduces three foundational goals of any stress management approach. Each goal offers both a mindset shift and a physiological strategy:

1. Decrease the likelihood of chronic stress.
Start by identifying the ongoing stressors in your life. These could be internal (like beliefs or perfectionism) or external (like work, family, or finances). Use tools like the stress bucket audit to get honest about what’s in your load—and where you might be able to make changes.

2. Improve your ability to reset after stress.
This is where vagal tone comes in. The vagus nerve plays a critical role in helping your body return to baseline after activation. Improving vagal tone can be as simple as getting better sleep, nourishing your body, and moving regularly—plus integrating parasympathetic-activating tools like breathwork, humming, or gentle touch.

3. Increase your overall capacity for stress.
Stress tolerance can be trained. Practices like strength training, activating breathwork, and cold exposure (used intentionally and at the right time) can help your nervous system build resilience. But these aren’t for everyone, and Amanda cautions listeners to understand their baseline before adding more stress to the system.

The Role of the Vagus Nerve in Stress Recovery

All three goals above hinge on the health of your vagus nerve. Amanda shares research-backed insights on why vagal tone matters, how to measure it (hello, HRV), and which practices actually move the needle. Spoiler: consistency in the basics beats trendy biohacks every time.

This is why she wrote Healing Through the Vagus Nerve and why every preorder includes a free video course with 15+ guided tools to help you apply what you learn in the book to your real life.

Three Tangible Takeaways

  1. Take your stress seriously—but not so seriously that it adds more stress. Start by watching the TED Talk Amanda linked in the show notes to learn how your mindset around stress influences its impact.
  2. Stress management begins with honest auditing. If you haven’t yet, listen to the 4-part Stress Bucket series to get a framework for evaluating what’s draining and what’s sustaining you. Check out episodes 37, 38, 39, & 40 for a series on how you can do just that.

  3. Healing starts with the basics. Sleep, movement, nutrition, and intentional recovery habits matter more than any quick fix. Focus on the 1% changes that build a more resilient system.

Looking for more personalized support?

*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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