Did I Give My Child Anxiety? Understanding Parent-Child Patterns
Episode 94: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout
What if the spiral of “Did I do this to my kid?” isn’t a sign that you’ve failed as a parent, but a signal that you care enough to pause, reflect, and re-pattern? In this episode, Amanda unpacks one of the most loaded questions a parent can ask—and offers a nervous system-informed lens to explore it with compassion, clarity, and courage.
CLICK HERE to download a PDF of the reflection questions
What We Cover in This Episode
- What we know about anxiety patterns in families
- Why co-regulation is essential for young children
- A powerful reframe for “Did I do this to them?
- Reflective questions every parent can ask themselves
- How to shift from guilt to growth in your parenting
Anxiety in Families: What Research and Real Life Reveal
It’s true that anxiety can have genetic components. But just because something runs in families doesn’t mean it’s destined. Far more often, what “runs” are patterns—of behavior, communication, stress response. And that means there’s room to shift.
Amanda lays out a grounded look at what influences childhood anxiety: a mix of physiology, environment, lifestyle, and relational dynamics. Kids learn how to respond to the world by watching the adults around them. They co-regulate before they ever self-regulate. So if you’re doing your healing work now? That matters more than you think.
How Parent Patterns Impact a Child’s Nervous System
From morning routines to emotional responses, the way parents navigate life shapes how kids experience theirs. A parent who is frequently overwhelmed, reactive, or unavailable isn’t “bad”—they’re human. But those patterns can influence a child’s felt sense of safety, ability to regulate, and core beliefs about themselves and the world.
From Guilt to Growth: What to Reflect On
Amanda shares a robust list of self-reflection questions (also offered in a downloadable PDF in the show notes) to help parents get curious about their habits, home life, and emotional availability. These questions aren’t meant to shame. They’re invitations to gently explore what might need shifting—from boundaries and expectations to screen time, nutrition, and emotional modeling.
A Hopeful Reframe for Parents
When the question becomes, “Am I doing this to my kid?” the answer isn’t black and white. It’s layered, human, and nuanced. Amanda encourages parents to replace spiraling self-blame with a new lens: “I’m a good parent doing the best I can, and I’m willing to look at my patterns to support my child’s well-being.”
Three Tangible Takeaways
- Your healing helps your child. Nervous system regulation is contagious. Even messy progress is impactful.
- Reflection is more powerful than guilt. Self-confrontation is hard. Do it gently. And if needed, with support.
- Small structural changes matter. Nutrition, screen time, play, rest—these daily habits shape emotional health.
Looking for more personalized support?
- Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
- Join me inside the Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
- Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
- Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
- Download free resources here
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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
