How to Recover from Being Triggered

anxiety, Regulate & Rewire Podcast, regulation tools

Episode 10: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout

You’re standing in line at the grocery store when suddenly your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and panic floods your system—for no apparent reason. Or maybe you’re having a normal conversation with your partner when they use a certain tone of voice, and you find yourself completely shutting down or getting unexpectedly angry. You logically know you’re safe, but you don’t feel safe.

This is what it means to be triggered. And if you’ve experienced this, you’re not broken—you’re human with a nervous system that’s trying to protect you based on past experiences.

The goal isn’t to never be triggered again (that’s impossible), but to develop the skills to recognize when you’ve been triggered and know how to help yourself recover more quickly. This episode gives you a practical framework for moving through triggers with more ease and intentionality.

What We Cover in This Episode

  • What a trigger actually is (and why it happens)
  • The difference between being unsafe now versus feeling unsafe because of past experiences
  • How to create proactive trigger plans for predictable triggers
  • A three-step framework for recovering when you’ve been triggered
  • Practical tools and techniques for grounding yourself in the present moment

Understanding Triggers: Your Nervous System’s Alarm System

A trigger is a cue of perceived danger. Your nervous system constantly scans your internal and external environment for safety using something called neuroception. When something in your current environment reminds your nervous system of a time in the past when you experienced trauma, didn’t get your needs met, or didn’t feel safe, it sounds the alarm using your amygdala and activates survival mode.

The key reframe: Being triggered is when your nervous system screams “You’re not safe now!” But what it really means is “You weren’t safe then, and this feels familiar.”

Your nervous system doesn’t always know that past situations are over. It stores memories in the language of your senses—sounds, smells, postures, tones of voice, emotions—not logical memory. This is why triggers might not make logical sense but feel very real in your body.

There’s No Universal Trigger

What triggers you is completely unique to your experiences. External triggers might include certain sounds, smells, people, places, or times of day. Internal triggers might be specific emotions like feeling unheard, rejected, or disappointed.

For example, if you experienced school bullying, feeling rejected by someone (even someone safe) might activate that same protective response your nervous system learned years ago.

Proactive vs. Reactive Trigger Plans

Proactive Trigger Plans (For Predictable Triggers)

These are for situations you know will likely be triggering—authority figures, confrontation, certain restaurants, walking alone at night. When you can anticipate these situations, you can prepare by strengthening your nervous system’s three determinants of safety:

  • Context: Answer who, what, where, when to help your nervous system understand “this is now, not then”
  • Choice: Expand your sense of control—drive yourself, create an exit plan, remind yourself why you’re choosing to participate
  • Connection: Arrange for support before, during, or after—bring a friend, have a safety person to call, or plan specific grounding practices

Reactive Trigger Plans (For Unexpected Triggers)

This is when you’re already triggered and need tools to recover. Like the client who suddenly panicked in the grocery store line and had to abandon her cart—sometimes triggers come out of nowhere, and you need immediate coping strategies.

The Three-Step Recovery Framework

Step 1: Recognize Physical Signs of Being Triggered

Learn to identify your unique trigger signature in your body. Common signs include:

  • Racing heart, sweating, trouble breathing
  • Muscle tension, clenched jaw or fists
  • Dissociation, numbness, or feeling “outside” your body
  • Strong emotions like anger, fear, or sudden sadness
  • Behaviors like isolating, shutting down, or becoming argumentative

The faster you can recognize “I’ve been triggered,” the sooner you can respond skillfully instead of reactively.

Step 2: Create a Trigger Log to Find Patterns

Keep a running log of triggering experiences, noting:

  • Date, time, situation
  • What you were feeling and how intense it was
  • What happened just before you felt triggered
  • How you coped or what helped

This isn’t a one-time exercise—add to it regularly until patterns emerge. You might discover that feeling unheard consistently triggers you, or that certain environments or times of day make you more vulnerable.

Step 3: Discover Your Glimmers and Regulators

Build a toolkit of practices that help cue safety to your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment. These are the opposite of triggers—cues that help you feel grounded, safe, and oriented to “here and now.”

Examples of grounding tools:

  • Scent: Essential oil roller you keep in your pocket
  • Touch: Self-hug, squeezing your arms, feeling your feet on the ground
  • Sight: Color spotting (choose a color and name all the red objects you can see)
  • Sound: Calming music or focusing on ambient sounds around you
  • Sensation: Cold water on your face, sour candy, or other intense but safe sensations
  • The 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.

Moving Through Triggers with Self-Compassion

When you notice you’ve been triggered:

  1. Orient to the present moment: Use your senses to ground yourself in where you are right now
  2. Show yourself compassion: Remember, you didn’t choose to be triggered—it just happened
  3. Check for current safety: Ask yourself, “Am I safe right here, right now?” Look around and confirm there’s no immediate danger

Use your tools: Engage whatever grounding practices work for your nervous system

The Goal Isn’t Perfection

You are not a robot, and the goal is never to turn you into one. There’s no amount of healing that erases your past or makes you exempt from being human. Sometimes you will be triggered—and that’s normal.

The work is to shift your focus from “How do I avoid all triggers?” to “How can I better support myself when I am triggered?” It’s about building capacity to reset more quickly and feeling capable of moving through triggers without being completely flooded by them.

Three Tangible Takeaways

  1. Reframe Your Understanding of Triggers When you feel triggered, remind yourself: “My nervous system is saying I’m not safe now, but what it really means is I wasn’t safe then, and this feels familiar.” This awareness helps you distinguish between past danger and present safety.
  2. Build Your Trigger Awareness Start identifying your physical signs of being triggered and any predictable patterns. For predictable triggers, prepare using context, choice, and connection. For unexpected triggers, focus on developing 2-3 reliable grounding practices that help you reorient to the present moment.
  3. Get Support When You Need It If you’re struggling to identify triggers, create safety plans, or find effective regulation strategies on your own, seek support. This work is challenging to do alone, and trauma-informed therapists, coaches, and practitioners can provide invaluable guidance in reclaiming your power after being triggered.

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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