How to Set Boundaries and Navigate Triggers in Tough Conversations
Episode 31: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout
When conversations get hard, many of us either shut down, lash out, or second-guess ourselves. Whether you’re trying to set boundaries, support a struggling loved one, or stay afloat around someone’s low energy—this episode gives you tools to stay grounded and navigate with clarity. In this podcast I answered these 3 direct questions from listeners:
- Question #1: How to communicate with our family/friends when something they say is triggering?
- Question #2: How to encourage a loved one who’s struggling to take the first steps to heal & take care of themselves?
- Question #3: What to do when someone else’s low energy/low mood is constantly pulling you down?
What We Cover in This Episode
- The difference between requests and boundaries
- Why other people don’t have to change for you to be okay
- Scripts for communicating triggers clearly and kindly
- How to support a struggling loved one (without burning out)
- What to do when someone else’s low mood pulls you down
Understanding Boundaries: Requests vs. Boundary
Setting boundaries is tricky and most of us didn’t have examples of how to do it well. Let’s start with the difference between a request vs boundary. A request is what you ask of someone; a boundary is what you’ll do if that request isn’t honored. For example, asking a friend not to comment on your body is a request. Choosing to walk away from the conversation if they do is a boundary.
This distinction matters. Boundaries aren’t about controlling others. They’re about protecting your peace. And while they might make others uncomfortable—especially those who benefited from your lack of boundaries—they’re a necessary part of healing.
When You’re Triggered by Others’ Comments
You don’t choose to be triggered. But you can learn to respond to those triggers with more agency. Sometimes that means making a direct request, like: “I’d appreciate it if we didn’t talk about weight or bodies.”
Other times, it means honoring the boundary quietly: walking away, redirecting the conversation, or simply choosing not to engage.
You can also build internal tools for recovery—what Amanda calls a “reset kit”—to regulate your nervous system after a trigger. (Episode 10 goes deeper on this process.)
Supporting Loved Ones Without Losing Yourself
If someone in your life is struggling, your first job is to love them where they are. Instead of trying to fix or rush their process, validate their experience:
“It makes sense that you’re struggling. I’m here for you—and I believe you have what it takes to get through this.”
From there, you can offer gentle resources (like a podcast or article) or tangible help (like finding a therapist). But it’s important to check your own motives: are you helping them… or trying to feel better yourself?
True support means holding space without losing your own footing. That’s co-regulation in action—and it’s powerful.
When Low Energy Drains You
If someone’s constant negativity is pulling you down, it’s time to check your boundaries. You don’t need to answer every call. You don’t need to be available 24/7. You can screen, delay, or decline—even with love.And if that person lives with you? Boundaries still matter. You may need stronger self-regulation tools, clearer routines, or scheduled time alone. This is the kind of work we support clients with inside the Regulated Living Membership—because learning to hold your center in hard relationships is deep, meaningful nervous system work.
Three Tangible Takeaways
- Boundaries are an essential skill—not a betrayal. Learning to honor your needs might mean relationships shift. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
- Being triggered isn’t your fault—but managing it is your responsibility. Set boundaries, build a reset toolkit, and practice naming your needs.
- Support starts with presence, not problem-solving. You don’t need perfect advice. You need to believe in them—and hold space from a grounded place.
Looking for more personalized support?
- Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
- Join me inside the Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
- Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
- Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
- Download free resources here
*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
