How to Stop Overthinking: The Nervous System Approach That Actually Works

anxiety, Regulate & Rewire Podcast

Episode 7: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout

Your brain won’t shut up. It’s 2 AM and you’re replaying that conversation from three days ago, analyzing every word, every facial expression, every possible meaning. Or maybe you’re spiraling about tomorrow’s meeting, imagining every worst-case scenario, planning for disasters that will probably never happen. You’ve tried telling yourself to “stop thinking about it” or “just be positive,” but your mind keeps spinning like a hamster wheel you can’t get off.

Here’s what no one tells you about overthinking: you can’t think your way out of an overthinking problem. Overthinking isn’t actually a thinking problem—it’s a nervous system problem. Your brain is spiraling because your body is sending alarm signals, and until you address the alarm, your mind will keep searching for the danger.

This episode reveals why traditional “mind over matter” approaches to overthinking fail, and shares the nervous system-based strategy that actually works to quiet the mental chatter and find peace.

What We Cover in This Episode

  • Why overthinking is a symptom of nervous system dysregulation, not a thinking problem
  • The difference between helpful problem-solving and harmful rumination
  • The two main flavors of overthinking: past rumination and future catastrophizing
  • The “two tones of what if” that separate productive planning from anxious spiraling
  • A simple 4-step process to interrupt thought spirals and return to clarity
  • Why your brain overthinks and how childhood experiences create this pattern

The Truth About Overthinking: It’s Not About Your Thoughts

Here’s the paradigm shift that changes everything: overthinking is a symptom of feeling unsafe in your body, not a problem with your thinking. When your nervous system detects threat (real or perceived), it activates your body’s alarm system. Your brain then tries to make sense of why you feel alarmed by creating stories, analyzing situations, and preparing for every possible outcome.

Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined stress, or between past and present situations. When you replay that embarrassing moment from last week or imagine bombing tomorrow’s presentation, your body responds as if these scenarios are happening right now. This creates a stress response that fuels more overthinking, creating the exhausting cycle you know all too well.

Problem-Solving vs. Overthinking: The Two Tones of “What If”

The key difference between productive thinking and harmful overthinking isn’t necessarily what you’re thinking about—it’s the nervous system state you’re thinking from.

Let me share a client example that illustrates this perfectly:

The Overthinking Tone (Dysregulated): A client was planning a family trip but was spiraling with dysregulated “what if” questions: “What if I’m driving with my kids and I start to zone out? What if we’re out to dinner and my derealization happens? What if I put my husband in an awkward situation? What will people think of me?”

These questions came from a place of panic, creating more anxiety rather than solutions.

The Problem-Solving Tone (Regulated): After some nervous system regulation work, we revisited the same concerns from a calm, grounded place: “What if you are driving and start to feel yourself zone out—what could you do? What if you’re out to dinner and feel derealization coming on—what might help? What could you do proactively before the trip to feel more regulated?”

Same questions, completely different energy. Within minutes, she had a clear plan: talk to her supportive husband beforehand, build in downtime during the trip, and identify co-regulation strategies if symptoms arose.

The tone of your “what if” questions reveals whether you’re problem-solving or spiraling.

The Two Flavors of Overthinking

1. Rumination (Past-Focused) This is when you repeatedly focus on negative thoughts, experiences, or emotions from your past. You dwell on mistakes, replay conversations, analyze what went wrong, and create endless “what if I had just…” scenarios. Unlike healthy reflection, rumination doesn’t lead to insights or solutions—it keeps you stuck in a negative thought loop that increases anxiety and depression.

2. Catastrophizing (Future-Focused) This is when you imagine the worst possible scenarios, expect disaster to strike, and try to control every possible outcome. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined danger, so playing out worst-case scenarios creates a genuine stress response that fuels more catastrophic thinking.

Why Your Brain Overthinks in the First Place

Understanding the “why” behind overthinking helps you respond with compassion rather than frustration:

1. It’s a Byproduct of Nervous System Dysregulation When you feel a body-based alarm (anxiety, stress, activation), your brain’s job is to figure out why you don’t feel safe. If you’re sitting in your kitchen drinking tea and feel anxious, your brain scans for threats. When it can’t find external danger, it creates internal stories to explain the alarm.

2. It’s a Learned Response from Childhood If you grew up with unpredictable or overwhelming situations, your nervous system learned to stay hypervigilant. Your brain developed the habit of scanning for every possible threat because there was “that one time” when you didn’t see danger coming and got hurt.

3. It’s Become an Automatic Habit What started as a protective response has become your default way of processing situations. Your brain automatically goes to worst-case scenario planning because it’s practiced this pattern thousands of times.

4. Underlying Needs Aren’t Being Met Sometimes overthinking signals that physiological needs (sleep, nutrition, stress management) or emotional needs (connection, validation, safety) aren’t being addressed, creating ongoing stress that fuels mental spinning.

The 4-Step Process to Stop Overthinking

When you catch yourself spiraling, use this framework:

1. Stop

Recognize that you’re in an overthinking loop. Notice the physical sensations in your body—tight chest, racing heart, shallow breathing. This awareness interrupts the automatic pattern.

2. Settle

Regulate your nervous system first. Take a few deep breaths, do some gentle movement, or use any of the somatic tools we’ve discussed. Remember: you can’t think your way out of dysregulation.

3. Solve

Once you feel more regulated, you can engage in productive problem-solving. Ask yourself: “Is this actually a problem I need to solve right now? What’s one small step I could take?”

4. Seek Support

If you’re still stuck in the spiral, reach out for help. Sometimes we need external perspective to break patterns we can’t see clearly from the inside.

The Magic Word: “Maybe”

Here’s a simple tool that can interrupt catastrophic thinking: when you catch yourself spiraling about the future, insert the word “maybe” before your worried thoughts.

Instead of: “I’m going to bomb this presentation and everyone will think I’m incompetent.”

Try: “Maybe I’ll bomb this presentation and everyone will think I’m incompetent. Maybe I won’t.”

This isn’t toxic positivity—it’s introducing possibility back into your thinking. When you’re spiraling, your brain can only see the worst-case scenario. “Maybe” creates space for other outcomes without invalidating your concerns.

Why Regulation Comes First

Here’s the crucial piece most approaches miss: when you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your prefrontal cortex (logical brain) literally goes offline. The electrochemical energy that powers your problem-solving abilities gets redirected to survival reflexes. This is why you can’t think your way out of overthinking when you’re dysregulated.

Once you regulate your nervous system—even just taking the edge off the activation—your logical brain comes back online. Suddenly, the same problems that felt overwhelming become manageable. You can think clearly, access creativity, and find solutions.

Moving from Overwhelm to Empowerment

The goal isn’t to never have worried thoughts—it’s to develop the skills to recognize when you’re spiraling and return to your body, your breath, and the present moment. When you can create a felt sense of safety in your nervous system, you naturally shift from panic to problem-solving.

Remember: you’ve survived every difficult situation in your life so far. You have more resilience and capability than your anxious brain gives you credit for. When you can re-anchor in your body and regulate your nervous system, you’ll have access to that strength and wisdom.

Three Tangible Takeaways

  1. Identify Your Overthinking Patterns Notice this week whether you tend to ruminate about the past or catastrophize about the future. Use this awareness to catch yourself falling into thought spirals earlier, when they’re easier to interrupt.
  2. Use the 4-Step Process When you catch yourself overthinking, practice: Stop (recognize the pattern), Settle (regulate your nervous system), Solve (productive problem-solving), and Seek support when needed. Remember to insert “maybe” to introduce possibility back into catastrophic thinking.
  3. Address the Root Cause If you find yourself stuck in chronic overthinking despite using these tools, it may indicate underlying nervous system dysregulation or unmet needs that require professional support. This pattern often can’t be broken through willpower alone.

Looking for more personalized support?

*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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