Mapping Your Anxiety (Anxiety Mini Series – Part 2)

anxiety, Regulate & Rewire Podcast

Episode 5: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout

You understand that anxiety is a body-based alarm system rooted in your nervous system—but how does this knowledge translate to your personal experience? Why do you still feel overwhelmed when anxiety hits, like you’re drowning in sensations and thoughts you can’t control?

The missing piece isn’t more information about how anxiety works in general. It’s understanding how anxiety uniquely shows up for you—your personal anxiety blueprint. When you can recognize your specific early warning signs and patterns, you can intervene before reaching that overwhelming 8, 9, or 10 level that feels impossible to manage.

This episode is about making the nervous system framework deeply personal. We’re exploring the specific combination of your past experiences and current circumstances that created your anxiety patterns, plus how to map your nervous system so you can catch activation earlier and regulate more effectively.

What We Cover in This Episode

  • How to explore your past experiences with compassion rather than judgment
  • The attachment vs. authenticity trade-off that shapes childhood programming
  • Why your current life circumstances may be overloading your nervous system
  • The “stress bucket” assessment to understand your daily load
  • How to create a detailed nervous system map of your unique anxiety blueprint

Understanding Your Past Programming: The Childhood Foundation

Here’s a truth that might surprise you: 80% of your brain develops by age five. This means most of your operating system for safety, connection, and survival was written by a very young version of yourself who was just trying to figure out how to get their needs met and stay attached to their caregivers.

Every child has fundamental needs: physical safety, emotional validation, secure attachment, rest, and free play. They also need to know they’re loved and accepted without having to prove something or change who they are to earn that love.But here’s where things get complex. Children face what trauma expert Gabor Maté calls the collision between two biological needs: attachment and authenticity.

The Attachment vs. Authenticity Trade-Off

As humans, we’re hardwired for attachment—we literally need connection to survive. But we’re also designed to be authentic, to trust our instincts and express our genuine selves. Problems arise when these two needs conflict.

Picture a young child expressing big emotions—maybe anger or frustration. If they’re sent away to “cool off” or told they’re “being dramatic,” that child learns that their authentic self threatens their attachment. They start adapting, giving up pieces of themselves to maintain connection and safety.

This isn’t necessarily the result of “bad” parenting. Even well-meaning parents who love their children deeply may not have the tools to stay regulated during their child’s big emotions. Maybe they were raised in families where emotions weren’t welcome, or they’re dealing with their own mental health struggles.

The programming that runs your adult anxiety was often written by a child who was just trying to survive and stay loved.

Reflecting on Your Foundation

Take a moment to consider these questions (with curiosity, not judgment):

Physical Needs: Did you feel safe in your environment? Were your basic needs consistently met? If you were part of a marginalized group, did you feel safe in your body and community?

Emotional Needs: When you had big feelings, what happened? Were you comforted and guided, or sent away to deal with emotions alone? Did your caregivers stay calm when you couldn’t, or did your emotions overwhelm them too?

Rest and Play: Did you have unstructured time for free play? Or were you overscheduled with activities that left little room for just being a kid?

Attachment Patterns: Did you learn that love was conditional—that you had to be “good,” compliant, or high-achieving to be worthy of attention and care?

These aren’t questions designed to blame your parents or create victim stories. They’re invitations to understand how your nervous system learned to navigate the world, so you can approach your current anxiety with compassion rather than judgment.

Your Current Life Circumstances: The Stress Bucket Assessment

Sometimes anxiety isn’t primarily rooted in the past—it’s your nervous system responding to genuine overload in the present. Think of your nervous system as holding a stress bucket. When that bucket gets too heavy, you naturally shift into survival mode.

Consider these current-day stressors:

Sleep Quality: Are you getting restorative rest, or running on caffeine and adrenaline?

Work Stress: Does your job feel sustainable, or are you constantly in crisis mode?

Relationships: Do the people in your life feel regulating or activating?

Home Environment: Does your living space feel calm and organized, or chaotic and overwhelming?

Decision Fatigue: How many choices do you make daily? Are you the default decision-maker for everyone around you?

Inputs: What are you consuming—news, social media, books, shows? Are these inputs nourishing or draining?

Health: Are you dealing with gut issues, autoimmune conditions, or other physical stressors?

When you lay out all these factors, you might discover what many of my clients do: “Of course I’m anxious—look at everything I’ve been carrying!” This awareness often brings profound relief and self-compassion.

Creating Your Nervous System Map

Now comes the practical work: mapping how anxiety uniquely shows up for you. This isn’t about pathologizing your experience—it’s about becoming fluent in your body’s language so you can respond skillfully.

Create four columns on a piece of paper:

Body Sensations: How do you physically experience anxiety? Butterflies in your stomach? Racing heart? Tight chest? Sweaty palms? Tension in your shoulders?

Emotions: What feelings accompany your anxiety? Irritation that builds to rage? Panic? Overwhelm? Can you identify emotions that come just before the anxiety hits?

Thoughts: What stories does your mind create when you’re activated? “Something’s wrong,” “I can’t handle this,” “Everyone’s judging me”? Do you spiral into worst-case scenarios?

Behaviors: What do you do (or stop doing) when anxious? Pace? Avoid social situations? Overschedule yourself? Scroll social media? Clean obsessively?

This mapping process helps you recognize anxiety earlier in the cycle, when it’s easier to regulate. Instead of catching it at level 8 or 9, you might notice it at level 3 or 4, when simple tools can be more effective.

FREE RESOURCE:

Want a worksheet to support you in mapping out your yellow zone? CLICK HERE

The Foundation for Healing

All of your symptoms—all of you—make sense based on your past experiences and current circumstances.

This awareness work isn’t the final destination—it’s the foundation that makes regulation tools effective. You can’t heal what you don’t understand, and you can’t regulate patterns you’re not aware of.

When you realize that your anxiety isn’t a character flaw but an intelligent response from a nervous system doing its job, everything changes. Instead of fighting against yourself, you can work with your system. Instead of shame, you can approach your symptoms with curiosity and compassion.

Three Tangible Takeaways

  1. All Your Symptoms Make Sense Your anxiety isn’t random or a sign of weakness—it’s your nervous system responding to the combination of your past experiences and current life circumstances. A nervous system that’s been able to stay on high alert to protect you for this long is actually incredibly resilient and absolutely has the capacity to heal.
  2. Your Current Circumstances Matter While past programming is important, don’t underestimate how your current lifestyle might be overwhelming your nervous system. Take an honest look at your “stress bucket”—you have more control over these factors than you might think. Nervous system regulation is a lifestyle, not just a set of techniques.
  3. Create Your Personal Anxiety Blueprint Spend time mapping out how anxiety shows up in your body, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. This isn’t a one-time exercise—keep adding observations over the next week. The goal is to become so familiar with your patterns that you can catch activation early and respond with appropriate tools.

Looking for more personalized support?

*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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