Why We Get Stuck in Anxiety & Depression (Back to the Basics Series – Part 3)
Episode 103: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout
Ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still stuck in cycles of anxiety or depression? You’re not alone—and you’re not broken. In this episode, Amanda unpacks the root causes of why we get stuck in dysregulation and what might be keeping your nervous system locked in survival mode. Through a clear and compassionate lens, she offers both science and real-life reframes to help you better understand what’s really going on and what you can do about it.
What We Cover in This Episode
- The two primary reasons we get stuck in dysregulation
- How our lifestyle can block nervous system healing
- What hypersensitivity means (and why it’s not your fault)
- An introduction to “parts work” and how internal protectors show up
Why We Get Stuck: Understanding Chronic Dysregulation
Living in a Way That’s Biologically Abnormal
Many people with anxiety or depression are unknowingly living in a way that’s out of sync with what their nervous system needs. Maybe you’re running on too little sleep, juggling too many stressors, skipping meals, or living without meaningful connection. These stressors can stack, leaving your system overwhelmed.
Amanda compares it to a plant—if it’s withering, it’s not because it’s defective. It’s likely not getting enough of what it needs. When your body isn’t properly resourced, anxiety or shutdown are normal outcomes.
When Your Nervous System Misinterprets Safety
Another reason we stay stuck is perception. Even when things are “fine,” your nervous system might still be interpreting everyday situations as threats. Why? Because past experiences trained it to be on high alert. That means your brain can overreact to minor stressors or misread neutral moments as danger. This is survival mode, not malfunction.
Familiar Dysregulation > Unfamiliar Regulation
Your system prefers what’s familiar—even if that familiar state is anxiety or depression. This is one of the hardest parts of healing: learning that calm might feel vulnerable, even unsafe at first. Amanda breaks this down with her yellow-lens metaphor: if you’ve been wearing yellow glasses your whole life, even white walls will look yellow. You behave based on what you see.
Understanding Protective Parts
Amanda introduces Internal Family Systems (IFS)—a therapeutic approach that helps you meet the internal parts that show up to keep you safe. These might look like perfectionism, avoidance, overanalyzing, or urgency. The goal isn’t to push them away but to understand what they’re trying to protect you from. When you see your symptoms as protection—not problems—you can finally start healing.
I hope a takeaway from this episode for you it that, you’re not broken. You are biologically responding to what you’ve lived through and what you’re currently navigating.
Recognizing dysregulation is step one. Understanding it compassionately is step two. In this episode, Amanda offers a clearer lens through which to see your symptoms—and reminds you that healing starts with awareness, not shame.
Three Tangible Takeaways
- Your symptoms make sense. Anxiety and depression are often normal responses to overwhelm. Recognize your patterns without pathologizing them.
- Biology matters. The way you live—your sleep, stress, food, and relationships—can either support or sabotage your nervous system. Start small by changing one supportive habit.
- Safety is learned. If your body perceives the world as dangerous, even safe moments will feel threatening. Begin identifying your “parts” and their protective roles to shift how you relate to stress.
Looking for more personalized support?
- Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
- Join me inside the Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
- Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
- Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
- Download free resources here
*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
