Nervous System Understanding In Real Life
Episode 124: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout
If you’ve ever wondered when all this nervous system work will finally start to feel natural, when will this click and become your new normal? This episode is for you.
We’ve spent the last five weeks exploring the science — the nervous system ladder, polyvagal theory, mixed states, and regulation tools. But nervous system healing isn’t just theory. It’s about what happens when this knowledge starts showing up in your everyday life — when you begin responding differently without overthinking it, when calm doesn’t feel so foreign, and when you catch yourself applying what you’ve learned in real time.
In this week’s episode, Amanda shares a voice message from someone who’s been part of the Regulated Living community for years — a real example of what integration looks like when nervous system awareness becomes embodied, not just intellectual.
What We Cover in This Episode
- Hear a real story of embodied nervous system healing
- Discover how integration unfolds over time — and why that’s normal
- Learn why flexibility is a better goal than perfection
- Recap powerful insights from the nervous system states series
- Apply practical takeaways to your own healing journey
Integration Happens in Layers
The message shared in this episode came from Brit — a longtime member of the Regulated Living community and someone who’s been immersed in this work for years. In her voice note, she describes a travel day that used to send her into total overwhelm: delays, overstimulation, kids needing her attention, and the urge to just grab a glass of wine to cope.
But this time, she did something different.
She noticed her activation, recognized what her body needed, and started walking the terminal instead of numbing out.
That’s the difference between coping and regulating.
It didn’t happen overnight. It’s the result of years of slow, layered understanding — first learning the science, then noticing the patterns in daily life, then experimenting with tools until they start to become second nature.
“Understanding comes in layers: first intellectual, then embodied, and finally intuitive.”
From Coping to Collaboration
What’s so powerful about Brit’s reflection is that she didn’t force calm or fight her activation. She collaborated with her nervous system instead of trying to control it.
Old patterns told her to suppress the stress — to reach for something external that might dull the discomfort. But instead, she moved with the activation, allowing that stored energy to process through her body.
When we learn to work with our nervous system’s impulses instead of against them, something shifts:
- You start trusting your body instead of fearing it.
- You use movement, breath, and connection to metabolize stress.
- You make conscious choices instead of reactive ones.
That’s nervous system healing in action.
And the ripple effects are massive — regulation doesn’t just help you feel calmer; it helps you stay connected to others, communicate better, and handle real-life stress with more grace.
The Real-World Healing Curve
The Real-World Healing Curve
Brit’s story also highlights an important truth: nervous system healing is not about eliminating hard moments. It’s about meeting them differently.
Travel delays will still be stressful. Kids will still need things. Work will still be busy. But when you understand what’s happening in your body, you can respond with awareness instead of overwhelm.
You’ll notice activation building and know how to discharge it.
You’ll catch shutdown before you spiral.
You’ll find yourself choosing movement or breath instead of numbing or avoidance.
Healing isn’t about perfection — it’s about flexibility. It’s about having choices.
“Each time you choose to work with your nervous system rather than against it, you’re teaching your body that safety is possible.”
Six Lessons from Brit’s Story
- Healing takes time. Integration unfolds over years, not weeks. You can’t rush your nervous system into safety.
- Awareness becomes intuitive. At first you think about regulation; later, you just live it.
- Your tools evolve. It’s not about replacing old habits overnight, but expanding your options.
- Regulation ripples outward. When you’re grounded, everyone around you benefits.
- Medication and tools can coexist. Nervous system work isn’t anti-medication; it’s about increasing your flexibility and choice.
- Progress isn’t linear. You’ll still have messy moments — but you’ll move through them faster, with more self-trust.
Bringing It All Together
As we close this five-part series on nervous system states, here are the truths worth carrying with you:
- Different states need different support. Activation, freeze, shutdown, and regulation all require distinct tools.
- Your responses make sense. They were designed to protect you.
- Reactive tools are scaffolding. They help you stabilize while you build deeper healing habits.
- Integration is gradual. You’re building a new language with your body, one experience at a time.
- Flexibility is the goal. Healing isn’t about eliminating hard emotions — it’s about meeting them with awareness and choice.
This is exactly the foundation we build with clients in RESTORE, my 1:1 anxiety and depression coaching program. You won’t be “symptom-free” in 16 weeks — but you’ll have the scaffolding and understanding to move through your life with more stability, capacity, and confidence.
Moving Forward in Your Own Journey
As you continue this work, keep these reminders close:
- Seek support when needed. Coaching, therapy, or community can help you see what you can’t always see alone.
- Trust your own experience. Your nervous system is the expert. Pay attention to what helps you feel grounded and what doesn’t.
- Start where you are. Healing isn’t about doing it all — it’s about doing what’s accessible and sustainable right now.
- Aim for flexibility, not perfection. The goal isn’t to avoid activation, but to move through it with awareness.
Three Tangible Takeaways
- Integration > Information. Knowing the science is powerful, but real transformation happens when your body learns the language of safety through repetition and experience.
- Healing looks like small, everyday choices. Walking instead of numbing, pausing instead of pushing — these moments are rewiring your system.
- Flexibility is your greatest marker of growth. Regulation isn’t about calm; it’s about returning to yourself again and again.
Looking for more personalized support?
- Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
- Join me inside the Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
- Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
- Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
- Download free resources here
*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
