A Note on Grief & The New Year
Episode 45: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout
This episode offers a deeply personal reflection on grief, nervous system regulation, and how we hold both pain and hope during the holiday season. Amanda shares the story of her late miscarriage, the unexpected way grief surfaced during a family trip to Puerto Rico, and what it taught her about honoring emotion in real time.
What We Cover in This Episode
- How grief shows up unexpectedly and why that matters
- Recognizing the signs of nervous system activation in the body
- The importance of movement as a form of regulation
- What it means to create emotional capacity vs. forcing calm
- Why community can be one of the most powerful tools for healing
When Grief Doesn’t Show Up on Schedule
Two years after a late miscarriage, Amanda found herself on a family trip during what would have been her son’s second birthday. She expected grief might show up that day—but didn’t expect how it would hit. What began as mild irritability over a wrong pizza order soon erupted into a full nervous system response (read as a panic attack). And in that moment, she chose to walk.
She walked to move emotion through her body. She walked to honor what was welling up inside, even if she couldn’t name it at first. And in doing so, she created space to feel, reflect, and regulate in a way that didn’t harm herself or anyone around her.
What the Nervous System Has to Say About Panic
This episode offers a practical lens on how our nervous systems respond to stress and why movement—not stillness—is often the most supportive choice in activated states. Amanda breaks down the sympathetic response, shares why trying to “stay calm” isn’t always helpful, and invites listeners to consider how capacity and connection shape our ability to hold hard things.
“Regulation isn’t about always being calm. It’s about knowing what state you’re in, what it means, and what you need.”
Amanda emphasizes that healing doesn’t mean you won’t get triggered or overwhelmed. It means you’re building the tools, awareness, and permission to respond differently.
A Note on Grief
Amanda reads an excerpt she originally shared on Instagram the day after her son’s birthday—a raw and resonant piece titled A Note on Grief. She writes about walking the streets of Old San Juan in tears, letting go of what others might think, and choosing to hold her own heart. It’s a reminder that:
- Grief is inconvenient and often unannounced
- Emotion moves in waves—and that’s okay
- There’s no “right way” to feel or express loss
“With grief, more rain will always fall, more waves will always come. What’s different is I’m better at letting it come and knowing it will settle.”
Ritual, Community & the New Year
This reflection naturally flows into an invitation for Amanda’s free New Year’s Eve Circle—a guided event that combines nervous system tools with ritual, reflection, and release. After her miscarriage, it was the only event Amanda didn’t cancel. Not because she felt obligated, but because she needed it.
She shares why these communal spaces matter so deeply in healing and how this event, in particular, creates space to:
- Regulate and reflect at year’s end
- Honor what was hard and what’s still tender
- Set intentions from a grounded, connected place
Whether your year has been joyful, heartbreaking, or somewhere in between, Amanda invites you to come as you are.
Three Tangible Takeaways
- Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. And it doesn’t need to make sense to be valid.
- Movement matters. When emotion builds, give your body somewhere to go.
- You don’t have to do it alone. Healing in community creates capacity that isolation never can.
Looking for more personalized support?
- Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
- Join me inside the Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
- Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
- Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
- Download free resources here
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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
