Nervous System Regulation vs. A Regulated Nervous System
Episode 27: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout
Regulating your nervous system and having a regulated nervous system are not the same thing. In this episode, Amanda breaks down the difference, explains why both matter, and offers practical guidance to help you build a nervous system with more capacity, flexibility, and resilience.
What We Cover in This Episode
- The difference between reactive regulation and nervous system capacity
- Why healing isn’t just about more breathwork or vagal toning
- What it means to build a wider window of tolerance
- How to assess your own regulation needs and capacity
- Where to start if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed
Regulating in the Moment vs. Building Capacity Over Time
Most people start their healing journey with reactive tools: breathwork, cold showers, grounding exercises, or legs up the wall. These are essential practices to calm the body during moments of stress. But regulating in the moment is not the same as having a regulated nervous system.
A regulated nervous system is your baseline. It’s your default capacity to handle life’s intensity. It means you don’t have to scramble to calm down after every disruption. You feel sturdy more often than not. You recover from stress more quickly. You don’t just survive hard things—you move through them with more grace and less depletion.
Regulating is the verb.
Regulated is the state.
We need both.
Amanda explains that many clients come in doing “all the right things”—eating well, meditating, using the app—but still feel like they’re barely getting by. The missing piece? Deeper healing work, boundary setting, and shifting relationships or environments that are draining their capacity.
Understanding the Window of Tolerance
The “window of tolerance” is your nervous system’s optimal range. When you’re inside it, you feel steady and responsive. Outside of it, you swing into hyper-arousal (anxiety, panic, anger) or hypo-arousal (numbness, shutdown, dissociation).
The goal of nervous system work is to expand your window of tolerance so you can face stress without spiraling. But this expansion doesn’t just happen from doing more breathwork. It requires:
- Daily regulation tools (like vagal toning)
- Proactive healing (like therapy, trauma work, or lifestyle change)
- A safe, supportive environment
- Enough rest, nourishment, and connection
These things are basic, biological, human needs. Activation/anxiety when you are under-rested, over-caffeinated, or have imbalanced hormones— isn’t a disorder. Shut down/depression when you’re micronutrient depleted, sedentary, carrying past trauma, or in unsupportive relationships— isn’t a disorder. These are natural phsyiological and psychological responses to too many stressors or too little of the things you need.
Why It Feels So Hard (Especially at First)
And sometimes, at first, shifting to a more regulated state feels even more dysregulating. Healing often comes with growing pains. One client described it as “state-shift whiplash”—flipping from anxiety to shutdown, and back again. It’s exhausting. But it’s also a sign of progress. She was moving through states instead of getting stuck in them.
Like muscle-building, regulation builds over time. Each time you notice a trigger, use a tool, and return to center, you’re building capacity. Eventually, those responses become more automatic.
This process takes time, experimentation, blunders, and often support. You’re learning a new nervous system language. You’re maybe creating a felt sense of safety for the first time in your life.
What Contributes to a Regulated Nervous System
Amanda breaks down proactive regulation: the deeper work that builds capacity over time. This includes:
- Lifestyle changes: sleep, nutrition, movement, breath quality, tech habits
- Social support: relationships that feel safe, boundaries that preserve energy
- Trauma healing: somatic work, parts work, nervous system repatterning
- Environmental factors: physical surroundings that signal safety (or stress)
- Physiological support: functional testing, hormone balance, inflammation
This is why Amanda created the Regulated Living Membership and Restore 1:1 Coaching. Because you don’t just need more tools. You need structure, guidance, and a space to integrate the many pieces of your healing.
Hit play on the full episode to learn more!
Three Tangible Takeaways
- Know the Difference: In-the-moment regulation tools help you calm down now. A regulated nervous system means you need those tools less often. Healing requires both.
- Build Proactively, Not Just Reactively: Breathwork and cold showers are powerful. But they won’t undo the effects of trauma, toxic relationships, or exhaustion. Healing requires capacity-building in your whole life.
- Reflect on What You Need Next: Do you need more lifeline practices for when anxiety hits? Or are you ready for proactive work like boundaries, trauma healing, or relationship shifts? Start where you are, and get support for the next step.
Looking for more personalized support?
- Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
- Join me inside the Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
- Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
- Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
- Download free resources here
*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
