Reactive Regulation: Tools For Calming Anxiety And Overcoming Shutdown (Back To The Basics Series – Part 5)
Episode 105: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout
Ever find yourself spiraling into anxiety or completely shutting down when life feels too overwhelming—and wish you had something that could help in the moment? That’s what we’re diving into today.
In this episode, Amanda introduces “reactive regulation”—your in-the-moment nervous system toolkit. She explains why having a few go-to tools can make all the difference when your system tips into stress, and how these practices support—not bypass—your body’s signals.
*click here to view the impala video I referenced in the episode
What We Cover in This Episode
- What reactive regulation actually is and how it differs from proactive strategies
- The science behind your stress response and how to complete the cycle
- Why “meeting your nervous system where it is” matters so much
- How to start building your own personalized regulation toolkit
Understanding Reactive Regulation
First, a quick refresher: your nervous system responds to stress by shifting into different states—like the yellow zone (activation/anxiety), red zone (shutdown/depression), or the mixed orange zone (freeze). And while long-term healing involves changing your lifestyle and relational patterns (we’ll get to that in the next episode), today we’re focused on what to do in the moment when those states hit.
Reactive regulation means offering your nervous system temporary safety cues—tools that help you ride the wave of stress without being swept under.
These tools aren’t about escaping your feelings—they’re about helping you stay present enough to respond rather than react. Think of them like first-aid for your nervous system: fast, targeted, and supportive.
The Science Of Stress Cycles
When your nervous system senses threat—real or perceived—it initiates a stress response. Ideally, you’d face the challenge, move through it, and return to baseline. But in our modern lives? That rarely happens.
Instead, stress stacks up, responses get interrupted, and your system stays stuck “on.” That’s where reactive regulation can help—by supporting you in completing those stress cycles and metabolizing the energy that builds up. It’s one of the ways our clients in RESTORE 1:1 coaching learn to prevent long-term dysregulation.
Meeting Your Nervous System Where It Is
One of the biggest mistakes people make with regulation tools? Trying to jump straight to calm.
If you’re in a high-anxiety state, trying to force slow breathing might backfire—your nervous system could interpret that as ignoring the danger. Instead, meet the energy with movement: shake it out, go for a brisk walk, and then begin to slow down.
Same goes for shutdown. If you’re immobilized or numb, you likely need to start with gentle sensory inputs—like noticing the temperature in the room or engaging your peripheral vision—before you can even think about jumping into action.This is called tool layering—starting where you are and slowly stacking supportive practices.
Yellow Zone (Activation):
- Shake out your hands and legs
- Try brisk walking, dancing, or jumping jacks
- Layer in slow swaying or visual grounding afterward
Red Zone (Shutdown):
- Begin with micro-movements (wiggle fingers, stretch)
- Add in light connection (a text to a friend, petting your dog)
- Use sensory cues like cold water, scent, or favorite textures
Gentle, Sensory Tools (Can Be Supportive For Any State):
- 3-3-3 grounding (three things you see, hear, feel)
- Run hands under warm water
- Focus on peripheral vision
This is exactly what Amanda guides in her monthly Release Class—a somatic stress release session for learning and practicing these tools.
Practice Makes Tools More Accessible
These tools work way better when you practice them outside of crisis. Doing breathwork before meals, or practicing vision drills in calm moments, wires your brain to access them more easily when it counts.
In RESTORE, a 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program, we helps clients identify the the tools that work best for their nervous system—not a giant list of tricks, just the most reliable go-tos.
With time, you’ll get better at catching dysregulation earlier, responding instead of reacting, and moving through tough moments without spiraling.
Your symptoms aren’t the problem—they’re messages. Reactive regulation helps you hear them and respond with intention.
Three Tangible Takeaways
- Reactive Resourcing: Reactive regulation is like a first-aid kit for your nervous system – a set of tools that provide temporary safety cues to help you bridge the gap between stress and regulation in moments of dysregulation.
- Meet Your System: The principle of “meeting your nervous system where it is” and “tool layering” is essential – rather than forcing calm when activated or high energy when shut down, acknowledge your current state first and then incrementally guide yourself toward regulation.
- Proactive Practice: Proactively practicing your reactive regulation tools in low-stress situations makes them more accessible and effective when you’re facing bigger challenges.
Looking for more personalized support?
- Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
- Join me inside the Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
- Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
- Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
- Download free resources here
*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
