Derealization: What It Is & Tools To Help You Feel Real Again
Episode 110: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout
Derealization can feel disorienting at best, and completely terrifying at its worst. If you’re not sure if you’ve ever experience this take a moment to reflect. Have you ever feel like the world around you suddenly looks strange, fake, or far away—like you’re watching your life happen but not really in it? That unsettling, foggy, “movie set” feeling is more common than you think. And no, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or crazy. It’s called derealization, and it’s your nervous system’s way of protecting you when things feel too overwhelming.
In this episode, Amanda breaks down what derealization is, how it relates to anxiety, trauma, and overwhelm—and what to do when it hits.
What We Cover in This Episode
- What derealization is and how it shows up
- How it differs from psychosis and depersonalization
- Why it’s a protective nervous system response
- Grounding tools and support strategies for when it happens
- How to support someone else who’s struggling with it
What Is Derealization?
Derealization is a type of dissociation where the world feels unreal or distorted. You know the world is real—it just doesn’t feel that way. You might describe it as foggy, muted, distant, dreamlike. Like the lights are on, but you’re behind a pane of glass.
This isn’t psychosis—you’re not losing touch with reality. You’re still aware that the chair is a chair, the conversation is happening. It just feels…off. That difference matters.
Why It Happens: A Nervous System Lens
When your system gets overwhelmed—whether by chronic stress, anxiety, trauma, or even exhaustion—it sometimes “pulls the plug” on full sensory experience. This is your body’s way of reducing input so it can manage what feels like too much.
In Amanda’s words, it’s like your nervous system saying: “I can’t keep you feeling safe while staying fully connected, so I’m going to dampen the experience for now.” It’s part of the freeze response—your system’s attempt to create a buffer between you and overwhelm.
How To Tell It Apart
- Derealization: The world feels unreal.
- Depersonalization: You feel unreal or disconnected from your body.
- Psychosis: Loss of touch with reality and belief in things that aren’t true.
They’re not the same, though derealization and depersonalization often show up together.
Tools To Reconnect In The Moment
If derealization is disconnection, your goal is gentle reconnection—signaling to your system that it’s safe enough to come back online. Amanda shares a range of strategies:
Ground Through Your Senses:
- Name 5 things you see, 3 things you hear
- Try color spotting: find all the red things in the room
- Hold something cold, chew mint gum, or use essential oils
Move Your Body:
- Gentle stretching or shaking
- Bilateral tapping (alternate shoulders or thighs)
- March in place or go for a walk
Co-Regulate:
- Text a friend
- Listen to a calming voice memo or podcast
- Speak to yourself kindly like you would a child
Cognitive Anchors:
- Say the date and time aloud
- Use mantras like “This is temporary,” or “This is my brain protecting me.”
Lifestyle Foundations:
- Sleep, movement, blood sugar regulation
- Limit stimulants like caffeine
- Create simple, predictable routines
These are all things Amanda supports clients with inside Restore, our 1:1 coaching program, and the Regulated Living Membership—not just identifying what tools are helpful, but helping you build safety from the inside out.
When To Seek Help
While derealization is common and often temporary, if it’s persistent or severely distressing, it’s important to reach out to a professional. Therapies like somatic work, EMDR, IFS, or trauma-informed coaching can help address the root causes—not just the symptoms.
Supporting Someone Else
If someone you love is experiencing derealization, you can:
- Learn about it (like you’re doing now)
- Validate them with empathy: “I believe you. I’m here.”
- Ask in advance what helps during episodes
- Offer quiet company, grounding questions, or a walk
- Respect their pace and boundaries
- Take care of your own regulation too
Amanda reminds us: Your calm presence helps their system feel safer. You don’t need to fix it—just stay close and stay regulated.
Three Tangible Takeaways
- Derealization is a protective response. It’s your nervous system trying to keep you safe when something feels too intense. You’re not broken—your body is trying to help.
- Reconnection, not force, is the goal. Try gentle sensory grounding, movement, or connection—not strategies that try to “snap you out of it.”
- Compassion is a powerful tool. Whether for yourself or someone else, understanding and validating the experience creates space for healing.
Looking for more personalized support?
- Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
- Join me inside the Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
- Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
- Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
- Download free resources here
*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
