How to Unblend & Unburden (Parts Work Series – Part 2)

Episode 78: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout

Ever feel like part of you is calm and wise while another part wants to scream, run, or shut down? We all have these contradictory parts. In this follow-up episode on Internal Family Systems (IFS), Amanda walks through the two foundational practices of Parts Work: unblending and unburdening. If you’re craving more clarity, capacity, or self-trust in your healing journey, this episode is a must-listen.

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What We Cover in This Episode

• What it means to be “blended” with a reactive part
• The process of “unblending” and accessing your regulated self
• How “unburdening” supports deeper healing
• A powerful protector-wounded-child metaphor to visualize your system
• The 6 F’s of working with protective parts in IFS

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Understanding Unblending

When you’re blended with a part—like anxiety, anger, or shame—that part is in the driver’s seat. Unblending is the process of stepping back so your authentic self can lead. Amanda breaks down how to notice when you’re blended and how nervous system tools like breath, movement, or awareness can help you unblend in real time. The goal isn’t to push parts away—it’s to pause and reconnect with your calm, compassionate self.

What Is Unburdening?

Once you’re unblended, you can begin building trust with your parts. Unburdening is about helping a part release what it’s been carrying—a belief, a fear, a role that no longer serves. Through visualization and compassionate dialogue, Amanda walks through how this process can help lighten your system and create more capacity in daily life.

Visualizing the Process

Amanda offers a metaphor to make this work more relatable: imagine your regulated self trying to reach a wounded child part, but a loyal protector is standing guard. Before you can offer care, that protector needs to trust you enough to step aside. With patience, presence, and the 6 F’s (Find, Focus, Feel Toward, Flesh Out, Fear, Befriend), this trust can be built—and deeper healing can begin.

Why IFS Complements Nervous System Work

Amanda again emphasizes that parts work is often more effective when paired with nervous system regulation. You need a resourced system to navigate deep emotional healing. That’s why the Regulated Living coaching programs don’t just offer tools—they support you in the deep inner work as well, healing you to strategically and tangible approach your healing.

Before we move into the takeaways, remember: this work takes time. Trust is built through repeated experiences. But with each step, you’re learning to care for, lead, and heal yourself from the inside out.

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Three Tangible Takeaways

1. Recognize blended states: Learn to spot when a part has taken over. Notice thoughts or behaviors that feel extreme or automatic.
   
2. Use regulation to unblend: Support your system with bottom-up tools like breath, movement, or resourcing to bring your authentic self forward.
   
3. Work with your parts compassionately: Parts are not problems. They’re protectors and survivors. When you listen with curiosity and compassion, they begin to soften.

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Looking for more personalized support?

• Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
• Join me inside the  Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
• Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
• Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
• Download free resources here

*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.