Assess Your Stressors & Supporters (Part 2)

Episode 152: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout

Most people know they’re stressed. They feel it in their body, in their reactivity, in the way they hit a wall by mid-afternoon. But when it comes to actually naming what’s in their stress bucket with any real structure or honesty, most people have never done that.

This is the work that tends to get skipped. You go to therapy and dig into a specific pattern. You see your doctor and leave with a prescription before anyone asked how you’re sleeping or how supported you feel relationally. When we jump to solutions too fast, we miss the bigger picture that leads to root-cause, lasting change.

This episode walks you through a structured stress assessment, both sides of the see-saw, so you can actually see what you’re working with. It builds directly on the stress bucket and see-saw frameworks from part one, so if you haven’t listened to that yet, start there.

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What We Cover in This Episode

• Baseline stressors vs. daily stressors, and why the distinction changes your approach
• A category-by-category framework for assessing both your stressor and supporter sides
• The difference between a trigger and overflow, and why knowing which is which matters

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Two Kinds of Stressors: Baseline vs. Daily

Baseline stressors are the things you wake up carrying. Chronic illness, financial realities, unresolved past experiences, hormonal imbalances, relational patterns that haven’t shifted, beliefs about yourself that run in the background of everything. Think of these as the bottom layer of water in your bucket, always present before the day starts.

Daily stressors are the variable inputs — the tap running above your bucket. Your to-do list, a tense email, poor sleep last night, constant notifications. Some days barely dripping, other days running full blast.

This distinction tells you where your leverage actually is. If your baseline is heavy, even a manageable daily load will feel overwhelming because the bucket is already significantly full. That often points toward deeper work. If your baseline is moderate but your daily tap is on full blast, that’s a life management and stress load problem. Most of us are dealing with some of both.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

Take someone named Riley. Before the day starts, their bucket already holds chronic back pain, financial strain, and a history of experiences that still affects their sense of safety. Then: wake up late, skip breakfast, hit traffic, flood of urgent emails, fast food at their desk, a tense exchange with a coworker, social media scrolling that feels like rest but isn’t, and a full evening of parenting and household decisions.

By end of day, Riley’s bucket has been full since two hours after waking up, with almost nothing on the supporter side to offset it. The overflow — snapping at the people they love, dissolving into anxiety, shutting down — makes complete sense in context. That’s the picture a stress assessment builds.

Assessing Your Stressor Side

Ps. The full workbook version of this assessment lives inside the Regulated Living Membership. Or if you’d rather have someone walking through this with you, that’s exactly what happens inside RESTORE, where a stress bucket assessment is foundational to every client’s work.

Now, for this part grab something to write with. Work through these categories for both baseline (what’s always there) and daily (what’s variable) stressors:

Body Health

• Baseline stressor examples: chronic illness or autoimmune condition, unresolved hormonal imbalances (thyroid, cortisol, sex hormones), a sleep disorder like insomnia or sleep apnea, known nutritional deficiencies, past injuries that still affect daily life. This is a big part of why functional lab work matters — things like mineral deficiencies and cortisol patterns show up in the bucket in ways nervous system practices alone can’t fully address. It’s what we assess through Regulated Health.
• Daily stressor examples: poor sleep last night, skipping meals or eating on the go, not drinking enough water, scrolling on your phone before bed, feeling physically fatigued or out of energy by midday

Connection & Community

• Baseline stressor examples: chronic isolation or lack of close relationships, feeling unsupported by family or friends, unresolved or ongoing conflict with loved ones, feeling disconnected from any community or group, experiencing discrimination or marginalization
• Daily stressor examples: a tense exchange with a coworker or family member, feeling unsupported in daily responsibilities, stress around social obligations, struggling to set or hold a boundary in the moment

Environment

• Baseline stressor examples: unstable or unsafe housing, long-term exposure to toxins or pollution, no access to green spaces or nature, a home or work environment that feels chronically chaotic or overstimulating
• Daily stressor examples: a loud or disruptive workspace, a long or stressful commute, clutter making you feel behind before you’ve started, constant notifications pulling your attention, too little time outside that day

Mindset & Emotional

• Baseline stressor examples: unresolved trauma or past experiences, stuck negative thought patterns or self-talk, an ongoing belief that you’re not good enough or have to earn rest, chronic anxiety or low mood, feeling disconnected from your body or emotions
• Daily stressor examples: ruminating on something someone said, avoiding an emotion that keeps coming up, comparing yourself to others online, struggling to stay present or focused, feeling rushed and overwhelmed by the day

Daily Life Management

• Baseline stressor examples: ongoing financial stress or debt, caregiving responsibilities with no sufficient recovery, juggling multiple roles without support, no consistent habits or tools for regulation
• Daily stressor examples: too many things on today’s schedule, working late or bringing work home, an unexpected event derailing your plans, relying on scrolling or TV instead of actual rest, forgetting to use any regulation tools at all

After going through those: which feels heaviest, baseline or daily? Is there one category that stands out as especially big right now?

One member shared after this exercise: “I frequently judge myself for feeling anxious or shutdown and tell myself my life isn’t that bad. But when I write it all out, it makes sense why I feel a constant level of anxiety. I appreciate the reminder that my symptoms make sense.”

Assessing Your Supporter Side

Now flip to the other side of the see-saw. And this is important: I’m not asking what your supporters should be. I’m asking what’s actually, consistently present in your life right now.

Using the same categories, look at what’s genuinely already there:

Body health supporters. Quality sleep most nights, regular nourishment, consistent movement that your body can recover from, treatment or management in place for any health conditions that’s actually working.

Connection supporters. Relationships you can actually turn to when things are hard. Community that brings genuine meaning or joy. The ability to ask for help or set a boundary without it costing you too much.

Environment supporters. A home that feels safe. Access to outdoor spaces or nature. A workspace that feels organized rather than chaotic.

Mindset and emotional supporters. Self-compassion, even imperfect. Tools for processing difficult emotions. Living in some alignment with your values. Regular moments of awe, laughter, creativity, or gratitude.

Daily life management supporters. Systems or routines that make your life feel more navigable. The ability to delegate or ask for help. Time for rest and things you actually enjoy. Even small, consistent regulation practices.

Write down what’s there. And then, if you’d like to add another layer to this exploration you can write what’s notably absent.

It’s worth naming: some people do this assessment and realize the supporter side is sparse, and that awareness can be painful, especially when it feels outside your control right now. If that’s where you land, that’s real data, not a personal failure. The gap between your stressor load and your actual supporter side is your most important starting point.

Boulders vs. Final Drops: Triggers vs. Overflow

One last layer. Two different things can cause a big reaction to something small, and they point toward different kinds of work.

A trigger is when something in your present experience connects to past fear or hurt and causes a disproportionate, immediate reaction. Work criticism that feels devastating because it echoes never feeling good enough as a kid. A partner going quiet that sends you into panic because it echoes old abandonment. A trigger is a boulder — big displacement, immediate.

Overflow is when a small stressor causes a big reaction because your bucket was already full. Snapping at your kid over something minor after holding too much all day. Crying in the car about something that objectively doesn’t warrant it. Overflow is the final drop, not a boulder — it’s about accumulated load, not the moment itself.

If certain situations consistently produce a disproportionate reaction regardless of how full your bucket is, that’s likely a trigger pointing toward deeper healing work. If your reactions vary based on how stressed you already are, that’s more likely overflow pointing toward stress management.

Asking yourself in the aftermath of a big reaction, “was that a boulder or a final drop?” is one of the most clarifying questions I know. Over time, the patterns tell you a lot about where your energy is best spent.

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Three Tangible Takeaways

1. Your stress bucket has two kinds of inputs. Baseline stressors are chronic and ongoing. Daily stressors fluctuate. Both fill the bucket, but they often require different approaches to address.
2. Assess your supporter side honestly, not aspirationally. What’s actually, consistently present right now — not what you wish were there. That gap between your real stressor load and your real supporter side is your most important data point.
3. Big reactions to small things are either a trigger or overflow. A trigger connects the present to something older. Overflow is the final drop into an already full bucket. Knowing which is which points you toward either deeper healing work or better stress management.

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Looking for more personalized support?

• Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
• Join me inside the  Regulated Living Membership, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space (sliding scale pricing available)
• Join my Release Class – Monthly guided nervous system regulation class
• Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!
• Download free resources here

*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.