My Family Song: The Nervous System Lessons I’m Teaching My Kids (and Still Learning Myself)

Episode 164: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube
View transcript on Buzzsprout

A few years ago, while thinking about the things I wish had been more obvious to me growing up, I wrote a short song for my kids. It started as a one-time bedtime experiment and turned into a nightly staple. One evening, after singing it, my son said something that stuck with me: he thought everyone needed this song.

So here it is, along with a line-by-line look at why each piece matters. Some of this is about what we teach kids. Most of it doubles as a reminder for the adults singing it too.

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The Song

I love my eyes

I love my nose

I love my body all the way to my toes

My body gets rest it doesn’t have to earn

My mind is smart and likes to learn

Food and exercise make me strong

Big deep breaths help to get me calm

I can cry when I’m sad

Or growl when I’m mad

We say prayers to give thanks for what we have

Mom and dad are always there for me

I stand up against any wrong I see

And always remember I can do hard things

This is sung exactly as written above, family to family. If your household looks different than mine, a few lines are easy to customize:

• “Mom and dad” can become whatever fits: mom and mama, dad and daddy, grandma, an auntie, or simply “my family.”
• If prayer isn’t part of your family’s practice, that line can become “we remember to give thanks for what we have.”

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Why Each Line Matters

“I love my eyes, I love my nose, I love my body all the way to my toes”

It’s hard to heal something you don’t love. If loving all of your body feels like too much right now, you can start with loving what your body allows you to do: hear birds, hug the people you care about, laugh with a friend. There’s a lot out there that profits from people hating their stretch marks, their wrinkles, the natural parts of themselves. Singing this line to my kids each night also functions as a conscious reminder for me to look at my own changing, postpartum, aging body with acceptance and appreciation rather than judgment.

“My body gets rest it doesn’t have to earn”

This one mostly speaks for itself. Work and productivity matter, but rest shouldn’t require a constant precursor of exhaustion or accomplishment to be allowed. If you need rest, rest. There will always be more to do.

“My mind is smart and likes to learn”

Our brains are built to learn, and they’re capable and adaptable at any age. That includes academic learning, but also new ways of coping, new ways of being kind, new hobbies, better communication, and new beliefs about ourselves, other people, and the world. Neuroplasticity isn’t a concept reserved for healing work. It’s just how brains work, for kids and adults alike.

“Food and exercise make me strong”

This is a frequent topic in our house. My kids understand, in age-appropriate terms, that carbs, fat, and protein each have a specific job in the body, and that food is also meant to be enjoyed. Exercise gets modeled rather than just explained. They watch me lift weights. We move together. Exercise is something we do to care for the body, never to punish it, and it keeps our minds clear too.

“Big deep breaths help to get me calm”

This line comes with an actual deep breath built into the song. The point is for kids to have direct experience with the fact that there are physiological levers available to them when they need a moment of pause or settling. A phrase we use often: “We can take a breath or a break right now. What do you want to do?” If the response is “I don’t want to,” the same options get repeated calmly. Usually they choose the breath. If they’re already too dysregulated to choose, we take the break instead, often a short walk outside together until their system settles.

“I can cry when I’m sad or growl when I’m mad”

All emotions are allowed. Not all behaviors are. Emotional regulation is a skill, and staying with an emotion long enough to actually feel it through is a practice, one that doesn’t always come with built-in support growing up. This line is as much a reminder for the adult singing it as for the child hearing it: you’re allowed to cry, things are allowed to feel big and hard, you’re allowed to be mad and let that be known, while still taking responsibility for how you express it so it doesn’t land harmfully on someone else.

“We say prayers to give thanks for what we have”

For families where this fits, it touches on the idea that there’s something larger to turn to, something that holds and gives generously. Beyond the spiritual piece, gratitude itself has substantial research behind it for its positive effects on mental health and overall outlook.

“Mom and dad are always there for me”

Kids need to know this, consistently, in the specific way each of them needs to receive it as they grow. Being a trusted, secure base looks different for each child and at each age, and that’s an ongoing commitment rather than a one-time message.

“I stand up against any wrong I see”

This is a family value: not staying quiet in the face of harm, staying aware of the people and world around you, and showing up as a helper when it counts.

“And always remember I can do hard things”

This line teaches resilience, and it’s also a nightly reminder on harder days in work and parenting that you’ve done one hundred percent of the hard things life has handed you so far. In practice, this means letting kids stay in their struggle, in age-appropriate ways, rather than rescuing them from every frustration. Creating space for kids to be uncomfortable and work through something hard is uncomfortable for the adult too, but resilience through difficulty is a skill, and it may be one of the most important ones to actually practice rather than just talk about.

Why It Works as a Whole

What makes this song work isn’t any single line. It’s the balance across all of them: being with hard feelings, asking for help, knowing you’re supported, and still digging in and doing the thing when it’s required. It gives language for caring for the body, working with big emotions, and showing up for life, and it becomes something to model in daily moments, not just sing at bedtime.

The hope underneath all of it is simple: laying a foundation for kids to work hard for the things that matter to them, while making sure that in that pursuit, they still matter to themselves too, and that they have practice finding that balance early.

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.